


Eclipsed in Cognizance

by ashofthetrash



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Amnesia, Angst, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Pining, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-02-23 07:28:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23641138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashofthetrash/pseuds/ashofthetrash
Summary: A modern-day AU in which Sylvain unintentionally makes an unfortunate wish during a solar eclipse. Felix’s memories of Sylvain and their friends disappear from his thoughts just as everyone has no recollection of Felix- except for Sylvain.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/My Unit | Byleth, Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier
Comments: 4
Kudos: 27





	Eclipsed in Cognizance

I idly dangle my left arm out the window of my Mustang and flex my fingers in the cool breeze. Having lowered the convertible top, I hum a soft tune that’s lost to the wind as we cruise through the neighborhood.

From the passenger seat, Felix sits with his arms folded and stares out the windshield at the late summer sunset as it blooms across the horizon. We watch the baby blue sky fade into fiery orange while wispy clouds of blush dot the sky. The sweet, earthy fragrance of grass wafts in through the open roof of the car.

I inhale and revel in the balmy scent of summer, fully enamored with the idyllic evening that we’ve been gifted. Despite this, I can’t ignore the fact that Felix doesn’t seem to feel the same way. A few brief glances his way inform me of his stiff posture and subtly tense jaw. 

Interrupting the idyllic setting to break the silence, I try to strike up an easy conversation. “Those CrossFit classes must really be paying off, huh? You were a demon on the field. That Petra chick was the only one who could keep up with you.” I flash him a grin, but he chooses to not bother honoring me with a response.

I direct my attention back towards the road and shift uncomfortably in my seat. Over the past few days, I’ve noticed that Felix’s mood had been… off. Felix was far from being known for his sunny disposition, but his bold and cynical attitude has been touchier as of late. He avoided sitting next to me on numerous occasions and keeps flaking when I invite him to various social engagements. 

Frankly, I was surprised he agreed to let me drive him the short distance home from the soccer field.

We’ve known each other since Felix was four years old and I was six. It didn’t take long for us to become each other's closest friend. As a kid, he was a bit of a crybaby, but eventually grew into the shrewd, sarcastic guy everyone knows him as these days. Adult Felix rarely eschews the opportunity to brazenly voice any issue he has with my behavior.

It’s not like we haven’t had our fights throughout the years, and this kind of treatment isn't entirely foreign. I'm all too familiar with the immense endeavor that is trying to hold a conversation with Felix involving his emotions in any capacity. I know better than most that his strengths are many and varied, but his communication skills are far from being one of them. 

In my experience, these kinds of exchanges usually leave him frustrated and on the defensive (even when we reach a resolution). He's a prickly one for sure, but this part of his personality is just another element of his charm to me.

Er, don’t get me wrong- I’m not saying that I find him charming while we’re in the middle of a heated argument. Arguing with Felix’s stubborn ass is akin to hopping on the back of a mechanical bull with half the fun and all of the sting. 

It’s his pouting that really gets me.

In favor of getting him to open up, I focus on the issue at hand. It’s clear that he’s holding something back, and I’m not the kind of person who allows this closed communication to fly with my friends. I encourage everyone to speak their mind if they’ve got anything to say about me, even if they think it’ll hurt.

It tugs at me that in this respect I can be a bit of a hypocrite, but I brush this off as a problem to be dealt with on another day.

We pull up to the driveway of Felix's duplex and he makes to get out of the car. I quickly jab the button that locks the doors and shift the car into park. We both know that if he really wanted to leave, he could simply unlock the door himself.

He doesn't turn to face me but doesn't unlock the door either.

I rest my elbow on the edge of his headrest in a casual attempt to put him at ease. “What’s on your mind? Don’t try to deny that something’s up. Dimitri and Ingrid noticed that you’ve been acting weird around me recently too.” 

From the cupholder, my phone buzzes and lights up with a message. I ignore it.

Felix faces forward in his seat and leans back. He closes his eyes and doesn’t speak for a few moments, and I assume he's trying to gather his thoughts coherently.

“Take your time. I don't have anything scheduled for the rest of the evening.” While I wait, my attention catches on the short sleeve sapphire soccer jersey directly in front of me. Felix’s physique is slender but powerful, and his shirt reveals toned, tanned biceps that tastefully hint at the musculature hidden beneath the jersey and shorts. Tight black socks stretch over his chiseled calves, and my touch isn't needed for me to know just how firm they are.

His above-the-knee sports shorts match the blue jersey, with white ribbing running down the sides of the dri-fit material. The loose fit gives no indication as to the contours of Felix’s thighs, but my imagination has no trouble flexing its creativity. With ease, I can envision exactly where and how I’d like to see those thighs positioned, and it takes all my willpower to resist reaching for him.

Having propped my elbow on his seat, my face is only a foot away from his body. Despite having lowered the convertible top, I can still smell the sweat on Felix's skin. His scent is... warm, if you can describe a smell like that. It awakens nostalgic feelings of comfort, of bliss.

As a warmth begins swelling in my groin, I come to the unfortunate realization that my other senses aren’t immune to the situation. I quickly reach towards the back seat and grab my drawstring bag, which I drop into my lap. I pretend to search for something to cover up the sudden movement and thankfully come across my water bottle. As cool water washes down my throat, I attempt to distract myself by thinking about anything mundane. Mentally rehearsing my grocery shopping list usually works well.

I notice that Felix is giving me an odd look as I screw the cap on, and I quickly force a smile. “Heh, just realized how thirsty I am.” 

My phone buzzes again. My eyes flick to the screen, and I see a text from Claude pop up. I’m tempted to read it, but Felix begins talking and I quickly draw my attention back to the discussion.

He finally faces me, a hint of wariness gracing his sharp eyebrows. “Does it ever cross your mind that you’re a highly entitled person who doesn’t fully appreciate what he has?”

My smile falters immediately as the conversation topic catches me off guard. I paste on my best stab at a neutral expression but feel myself begin to tense up. “Maybe. Care to elaborate?”

Frankly, I could already tell where this conversation was heading. I need more time to think. I have my own mixed feelings on this subject, and I'm not keen on discussing them with anyone yet. Not even with Felix.

Scratch that- especially not with Felix.

He continues, and his amber eyes flash with a tinge of... resentment? “You scarcely take anything seriously. Why should you when you rarely have to face the consequences?”

I open my mouth to reply, but he keeps talking. 

“Sweet talking your way out of each and every dilemma without dealing with the core of the problem can only last you so long, Sylvain. And when that fails, you're free to just throw money at your issues until they fix themselves. Even factoring in the ridiculous luxury expenses you indulge in, you don’t truly  _ need _ your cushy sales job- you could easily live off your family’s reserves for the rest of your life if you wanted to.”

When you know someone for so long, they eventually learn precisely which buttons to push if they want to set you off. Irritation worms its way into my tone. “What am I supposed to do about this? Do you think I can just snap my fingers and make my family’s fortune disappear? And my negotiation skills are my strength. I’m not going to just toss them aside because you think they give me some unfair advantage. This is who I am, and it's who I've always been. It hasn’t seemed to bother you for the past eighteen years.” 

“I fail to see why the world thinks it’s fair for you to be a slacker, hand you everything on a silver platter, and reward you for your behavior.” He boldly fixes his eyes on mine, challenging me to disagree with him. 

Momentarily, my eyes flick towards his messy bun. Strands of hair that were coated in sweat from the soccer game twenty minutes earlier, now dry and disorderly, frame his face. He looks beautiful. Angry, certainly, but beautiful nonetheless. I swallow and shift my focus back to his eyes.

“I hate to be  _ that guy _ , but you know what they say: life isn’t fair. And contrary to what you seem to think, it’s not that simple.”

“Oh, really? My apologies. It’s hard to see that past the cocky attitude and endless posse of friends you constantly surround yourself with. Not to mention the dozens of women you carelessly ‘play with’ and toss aside once you're done.” As if on cue, my phone vibrates and the wall of unread text messages from various people flashes across the screen. Felix scowls at the device as if to punctuate his point.

A stab of guilt enters my chest, but I feel the need to offer a retort to his misinformed but not-entirely-baseless accusation. “If I didn't know any better, I'd say that this sounds remarkably like jealousy. And, for your information, the one-night stands are usually established as such in advance." I sigh. " Fe, you know me better than anyone else- why are you falling into the trap of reducing me down to simplistic sexual and financial impulses?" 

“Jealousy?" He snorts derisively. "Far from it. When you have as many friends as you do, you lose the capacity to value them as much as you should.” Felix’s eyes narrow, and he returns to his sulking as he faces the windshield. “This has been especially clear over the past few weeks."

Does he… feel neglected? I consider asking him, but coming straight at his emotions like that is the fastest way to put him on the defense. Not to mention, my admittedly immature annoyance at this moment outweighs my sense of empathy. I furrow my eyes. “That’s bullshit. You don’t just dilute the value of your friendship when you make more friends. You’d see this if you actually showed up to some of the plans I invite you to. I invite you because I care.”

“Either way, I  _ don’t want _ more friends. The ones I already have are good enough for me. I’m not going to your stupid parties if you’re too busy chatting up every other person there to talk with us. And here you are asking if there’s something wrong with me when it’s obvious that your behavior has changed over the past month.”

I wince, but I shouldn't be too surprised that he's noticed the less-than-familiar way I've been treating him recently. It's not that I'm avoiding him, per se, but as of late I found it necessary to maintain some emotional distance for both of our sake. I find myself regretting that I decided to handle things this way. If anything, the distance has seemed to make my desire for him even more difficult to subdue. I’m not about to spill my worries to the person who lies at their source, so instead of explaining my thoughts, I stay silent.

It's truly no surprise to either of us that I've landed us in this mess.

Bitterly and without making eye contact, he asks, “Why do you even stick around with me anymore? Is it because you pity my unglamorous social life?” He brusquely reaches up to tuck a strand of hair behind his ear. The nervous tick is a dead giveaway to the worry that hides beneath his countenance.

I desperately want to wrap my arms around him and tell him just how wrong he is. I want him to know that there's nothing in this world I'd love more than the privilege of staying by his side until the end of time.

Instead, I take the cowardly path and avoid his question. “No! No, Felix, why would I pity you?” I release a sigh of frustration and rake my fingers through my hair. “I mean, you had a point earlier. I won’t deny that money and charisma have been able to get me most anything I want.” I pause for a second.  _ Except for the one person I want more than anything.  _

“But not everything. And you’re being naïve if you think I don’t have to face consequences for the stupid shit I do.”

“Then tell me what changed.”

“I can’t.” I’m not willing to risk our friendship any more than I have already, and I'm not about to let Felix waste his time on me when we both know he deserves so much better.

“Fine, don’t bother explaining yourself. I’m done.” Felix deftly unlocks the door and grabs his bag before stepping out to slam the car door shut. He sets off up the driveway.

There isn't really anything else I can say to appease him that I haven't already tried. In a final act of despair, I quickly unbuckle myself and open the door. Standing next to the car, I call out to him, “Believe me, if I could've changed my circumstances, I would’ve already done that. I know I have my faults, and I know I've got a lot of them. Hell, you know this as well as I do. For better or for worse, this is who I am.” 

Front door wide open, he turns to look back at me one last time. Disappointment is etched on his face, and I can feel the anguish build up in my chest. I've lost the battle, and I know that it's time to call it for today.

I take a deep breath and sheepishly rub the back of my neck. Of course Felix would be the one to poke and prod at my insecurities when I least expect it. “Sorry. Just… forget about all of this. I’m gonna head home. I’ll... uh, see ya around.” I climb back into the Mustang and watch as he enters his home and slams the door shut.

Remorse strikes me as soon as I sit down, and I plant my face in my palms. I feel like a dick for arguing with him. In the end, he was really just concerned for my wellbeing and I was too gutless to tell him the truth.

As I disengage the parking brake, a darkness begins to settle outside the car. I started inching forward to see if I can tell what’s happening in the sky, but quickly stop myself before I get too far.

I remember that a solar eclipse was set to take place today.

Assuming it’s best to wait until the eclipse is over before I start driving, I prop an elbow on the center console and rest my chin on my fist. I stare at the shadowed door that Felix just disappeared behind, guilt and abashment mingling in my chest.

Moments later, the darkness lifts and the evening returns to normal. I grab my phone and open up Spotify, scrolling through my playlists until I find the one titled ‘:(’. I hit shuffle and head home.

* * *

** The Next Morning **

“G’mornin’, roomie.” Clad in a pair of chicken wing print boxers and black socks, I strut up to the kitchen island and plunk myself down on a barstool next to Dimitri.

He offers me a brief nod. “Morning, Sylvain.” Dimitri’s eyes are rimmed with dark circles, and his chin-length blonde hair is disheveled. Despite his exhaustion, his disciplined work ethic consistently has him awake by 7:30am each Saturday to study.

A spoon in his right hand and a casebook from one of his law school classes under his left finger, he traces along the reading as he eats breakfast. In front of him sits a bowl of overnight oats topped with brown sugar, coconut flakes, and craisins. A slowly browning banana peel lay abandoned to the side.

I open the cabinet to the left of the sink and grab the family-size box of Apple Jacks. “Is Byleth coming over later today, or is she busy?” I rip the clip off the plastic bag and eagerly proceed to down the cereal straight from the box.

My roommate glances up, grimacing mildly, but refrains from commenting on my so-called ‘barbaric’ breakfast habits. “Yes, she’ll be over sometime in the afternoon. She was up late last night grading a round of essays.” He returns to his readings, which I interpret as a sign that I should leave him to his own business.

Still munching on the Apple Jacks, I proceed to ignore his signal in favor of addressing my own far more pressing concern. “So, after the game last night, I drove Felix home and things went a little… not so great."

“What are you talking about?” Dimitri doesn’t bother to look up and swaps his spoon for a pencil. He scribbles a note in the margins and draws an arrow from the bottom of a page to a different section. “We both rode home with Byleth after yesterday’s game.”

I cock my head to the side. “You sure you aren’t talking about a different weekend? I argued with Felix in front of his house  _ last night _ . There’s no way I’d forget it because  _ man _ , that was messy.” 

I whistle and shake my head in a mock-somber fashion. “I feel like I should talk to him today, but I dunno what to say.” I walk to the fridge and grab the half-gallon of 2% milk from the door before pouring it waterfall-style down my throat.

“For the seventh time, I absolutely  _ must _ ask that you stop doing that. And who is this Felix? Is he someone you met at the soccer field?”

I lick some of the mess off my lips before offering Dimitri a placating wave of my hand. “My lips didn’t even touch the rim- cool your tiddies, Your Highness. And I’m not sure if that was simply a piss poor attempt at a joke or if you’re more sleep-deprived than I think, but I’m being serious. I need your advice.”

Dimitri defeatedly tucks his pencil between the pages of his book and closes it. He sighs in exasperation as he shoves the tome to the side. “Sylvain, you act as if it’s my duty to remember the names of each and every acquaintance you introduce me to. Unfortunately, I lack the mental bandwidth to manage such an enormous task. Please don't misinterpret me- I don't mean this as a compliment.”

Double fisting my breakfast foods in the center of the kitchen, I swivel to stare incredulously at my roommate. “Acquaintance? Jeez, I know you two can be pretty cold to each other, but I didn’t imagine you’d go as far as to pretend he doesn't exist. You sick or something?” I set down the food and place my hand on Dimitri’s forehead.

“If anything,” he mutters with an annoyed expression, “you’re the one who needs your head checked out.” He slaps my hand away before electing to clean up his breakfast and (I assume) study elsewhere.

I whip out my phone and open my messaging app. Maybe I should text Felix and set up a time to drop by with his customary chili cheese apology dog and talk about last night. 

It makes me nervous to think about it, but I also wonder if it might be time to tell him what's really on my mind.

I search for Felix’s name, which should be near the top of the list, but I don’t see it. I spend two minutes sifting through my contacts and curiously find his name absent there as well.

I'm not sure why, but I begin scrolling through my photo album. My heartbeat speeds up as I go back a full year without finding any photos of him. This isn't right.

I turn my phone off and nervously run my hands through my hair. “Maybe Dimitri is right,” I murmur under my breath. I tentatively place my hand on my own forehead and find no fever. There's no pain in my body and I don't remember any recent injuries, so I assume this isn't the result of a concussion.

Dishes clink from the sink as Dimitri washes his bowl and coffee cup while my level of panic rises. I hop off the stool to retreat to my bedroom and throw myself on my unmade bed. Rolling onto my back, I dial the one person I know I can rely on for enlightened counsel in sticky situations.

The phone rings a few times before a female voice drowsily responds, “Hello?”

“Ingrid, I need your help.”

“Yeah, I figured.”

“I promise, next time I call it's going to be with an invitation to margarita night on me. Can you talk right now?”

A yawn. “I guess, it’s not like I’m sleeping anymore.”

“Did you just wake up?”

Even through the phone, the bite in her voice comes through clearly and acerbically. “Are you really going to sit here and fucking judge me for sleeping in until 8:53am on a Saturday, or do you want my help?”

“You’re right, I'm sorry. Help me please.”

“Alright. You can start by telling me where you fucked up this time.” A morning Ingrid is rarely a happy Ingrid.

“I said the wrong thing to Felix last night while we were arguing, and this morning I tried talking to Dimitri about it. He doesn’t even remember who Felix is. Crazy, huh?” A few seconds of silence lapse before I ask, "You remember Felix, right?"

“Felix? I don’t know anyone by that name, is he one of the new guys you met at the happy hour from last week?”

I groan and rub my eyes. “Felix. Felix Fraldarius. Ties his Prussian blue hair up in a messy ass bun, has a bitchy attitude, wields his sharp tongue as if it's an actual sword?”

“Doesn’t ring a bell.”

I start babbling and the words rush together. “I can’t find his phone number or any photos of him on my cell, which is  _ super _ weird. But I promise you that I saw him last night! Ugh, Ingrid, I feel like I’m going insane, but my memories are too clear for this to be something I just made up. I swear- I’m not lying, I'm not concussed, and I'm pretty sure I'm not under the influence of anything.” 

Soothing and optimistic, her level voice helps to ease my frantic mind. “Okay, calm down. Let’s figure this out together. Do you remember where he lives? Can you drive over there?”

I sit up, eyes alert. “Of course. Yeah, I remember where he lives. I’ll drive over there right now.”

“Keep me updated.”

“Will do. Thanks, Ingrid. Love ya." I hang up, still perplexed about the situation but feeling more grounded with an actionable task set before me.

I slip on a pair of pink Chubbies shorts decorated with a tropical banana print, then grab a white v-neck and quickly pull it over my head. As I dress, I reflect back on Felix’s words from the previous evening about appreciating friends. I make a mental note to set aside time for Ingrid so we can just sit and talk about what she's up to- my concerns shouldn't always be hers.

Keys in hand, I hustle out to my car.

* * *

I stand in front of what I hope is still Felix's home. A floral doormat lay beneath my feet, and I have trouble imagining that Felix would suddenly ditch that tacky ‘leave me alone’ doormat we’d purchased together two years ago.

I give the door a firm knock. Over the next few painfully silent seconds, I agonize over what my next step would be if no one were to answer the door.

The door finally creaks open, and I force a smile as an older woman peeks her head out. “Hello, can I help you?”

“Good morning, ma’am. I was wondering, is Felix here?”

“I’m sorry, I think you might have the wrong address. I'm not familiar with anyone by that name.”

“Oh, I apologize. Must’ve followed the map directions incorrectly. I hope you have a wonderful morning.” I flash the older lady a warm smile and depart from the doorstep as she gently closes the door.

I look back at the address numbers nailed next to the door, which look just as I remember them. I glance at the second-story window through which used to be Felix's bedroom. Six weeks ago we spent an evening lounging on his bed while Netflix played in the background, watching fireflies and chatting late into the night.

As I walk back to my car, I notice that not everything remains the exact same. Previously empty flowerbeds are filled with blooming lilies and violets, as well as a couple of other plants I can’t name. The swinging bench was always there, but I see a few additional pieces of furniture arranged in the small space.

Despite these minor variations, this is unmistakably the same place Felix lived yesterday.

I buckle up and settle my hands on the steering wheel, but make no move to start the car. I sit, speechless for a few moments until the weight of the situation falls on me.

“FUCKING SHIT!”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for taking the time to read this! I haven't written fanfic in 7 yrs so pls forgive my rusty writing skills. 
> 
> Soccer Felix has me feelin' some kinda way hnnnngggg. Also, my headcanon is that Sylvain is the friend who comes over to your house and drinks a whole jug of milk like it's nothing. A BIG fan of the stuff.
> 
> If you want a link to his :( playlist, I made one in Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2o2x78WKjSrEVxoVylCJRm?si=GlV5JtYtRGe6dQ3IwTcazA
> 
> PS I made a tweeter recently and it’s just FE3H and ACNH at this point, because that is all I think about these days. Feel free to follow @ashofthetrash


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